and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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