Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
