At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
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