She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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