please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Randomize
