Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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