she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
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