Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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