'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
