He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
