I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
