Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
accomplished twins. life is a go
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
