You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
