I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
