I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
