im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
