I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
