I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
