I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
