didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Found the puke drawer
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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