You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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