do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
