Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
NoShamevember. You game?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
