LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize
