I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Your penis caused this!
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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