farters have to be the big spoon...
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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