I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
