the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
