You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Acid is not a monday night drug
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
