if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
