I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
