i just had sex bonerless
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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