dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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