Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
