Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
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