You just made me feel so damn special
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
