So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
