I think i sorta joined a cult last night
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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