I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Randomize
