u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
Randomize
