It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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