I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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