I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
