My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
any chance you can send me your legal ethics outline, in exchange for say, me buying you a lapdance the next time we go to the strip club?
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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