After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's official drugs can't kill me
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
