i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
