What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
