Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Randomize
