Nicole vs. Life
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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