Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
