I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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