Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
